“Every humyn being is primitively organized as a self, characteristically determined to become hirself; and although indeed every such self has sharp edges, that means only that it is to be worked smooth, not ground away, not through fear of humynness wholly abandon being itself, or even through fear of humynness simply not dare to be itself in that more essential contingency (which precisely is not to be ground away) in which a persyn is still hirself for hirself.”
Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death
I think what Kierkegaard is saying is this: Our idiosyncratic motives for and ways of being in the world inevitably create friction between ourselves and others/the universe. The ideal solution is not to simply become bland and indifferent, to normalize one’s ways of being and numb one’s desires but instead to seek to preserve what is idiosyncratic about oneself, keep it alive, but work with it until it becomes something that causes less friction while still fully manifesting what is truly “you” about yourself.
Dr. Seuss once wrote, as part of a work to be presented to someone on their birthday, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” That is not a redundant statement.
We live in a world of pain. Pain almost always leads to fear. That is how the humyn mind works. Fear is not a bad thing in itself; fear is a self-preservation mechanism. Fear is a small, painful tension that makes the possibility of a future pain real to us and is “intended” to help us avoid it. Pain and fear very often lead to anger. And anger very often leads to the doing of things that precipitate fear and pain in others.
The less room to breathe, the less room to be oneself, the less free time and space to find out what exactly in oneself is causing so much friction and why, the less likely a persyn will be able to respond to pain with something other than anger, and the long cycle of pain–>anger–>pain will continue.
Communism is the world we hope to create where everyone has the time and space and support they need to respond in some other way than anger. In this way we can let the pain/fear/anger that has been cycling through human society and every human mind for thousands of years now–deepening, solidifying, and rotting–fall out.
I feel very lonely and hopeless sometimes, but sooner or later in my despair I encounter or remember some way I am connected, some way I am not wholly different or separate. Some realization that I am made of the raw and undifferentiated love that gives rise to all desire, in me and in all living things, and the heartbreakingly complicated lace-fractal-whirlpool-sky that this love weaves.