I have started to doubt whether there is such a thing as absurdity, and the idea of nihilism has begun to make me laugh. It is not that I feel comfortable in big old God’s arms suddenly or something, it’s just that whenever and wherever whatever the fuck is going on goes on, there is consciousness, never not giving a fuck. Perhaps I misunderstand, but how does an absurdist or nihilist feel they could recognize meaning if they saw it unless they have seen it before? And if they saw it once before, when could they have stopped seeing it?